"I’m sorry…" he said and hung up the phone. A rusty metal clamp gripped my heart, squeezing it tightly as tears fell down my flushed cheeks. I slammed the phone on the table and turned towards the mirror to see black drops of mascara staining my new white blouse. Freshly sprayed perfume remained pungent in the air. Disappointment drenched my body and boiled into rage. I can’t stay here any longer; I must leave the house before I suffocate.
I ran outside to my car. Anger pushed the gas pedal closer and closer towards the floor and the wheels of my car screeched as I turned onto Marina Boulevard heading towards the water. I parked in an empty lot facing boats resting at the docks. I slipped into the back seat and lay down. Releasing my mind crowded with memories and animosity, I screamed while I choked back the rest of my tears. No one can hear me. Wiping the remaining tears on my jacket I took in a deep breath as I stared up at the black sky through my window. The twinkling lights covered my body like a warm blanket. They are the only ones who will listen to me. I rolled down my window to feel the cold breeze kiss my face; all of life’s conflicts and pain flew out the window and drowned in the salt filled waters outside my car.
I turned my head left to see a memory of a boy and a girl holding each other as they strolled along a cement walkway, circling a meadow of grass and trees near the water. It looked as if they were in love, but I know that love does not last. He and I had our first date here. That meant nothing to me now. Now, all I needed were the stars, the moon, and the soft breeze. Closing my eyes, I heard tiny ripples of water brush against rocks along the edge, vague noises speaking to me. I don’t need to be afraid of being alone anymore. I slowly opened my eyes. The figures faded. I sighed as my lips formed into a gentle smile. I reached for my keys and climbed back into the front seat to start the engine.
11-05-02 EE
